I often get asked "can you control impulsive reactions" or "How to stop reacting impulsively" so in this article, I want to tell you that yes, it is possible to not only control them, but stop them. I'll be giving you tips to stop reacting and start responding - grab your favorite drink and keep reading :)
What is an impulsive reaction?
Impulsive reactions happen when you get triggered, that is to say when an external situation activates an automatic response within you, in your subconscious mind.
You feel threatened or hurt but you're not consciously aware of what is causing that. It's like an activation that takes place deep within and creates an emotional reaction, an impulsive behavior.
Behind every impulsive reaction is a wound to heal, an imbalance to rebalance and this doesn't have to take ages!
I'm telling you more about it in my ebook "Understanding triggers and impulsive reactions", I genuinely believe that we can change what we know about and are aware of, this ebook will help you do exactly that!
If you want to deactivate your impulsive reaction, I can help you with an energy reset & cleanse that will help you clear old energies and bring healing to trauma in a gentle way.
Being triggered is NOT fun, it's uncomfortable, it's painful - but you can stop impulsive reactions!
The impulsive reactions you can happen to have can make you feel even worse because you tend to blame yourself or feel ashamed of your impulsive behavior, which amplifies the initial wound that was causing the trigger in the first place.
Let me tell you something: we all get triggered, we all have impulsive reactions, it's part of the human nature. So, please know there is no need for your to blame or shame yourself.
You're human and the simple fact that you're reading this article means that you are already working on yourself - pat yourself on the back for being there for yourself! :)
What you need to know about triggers & impulsive reactions
I created a podcast episode to help you raise your awareness on your own reactions - always with self-love, benevolence and non-judgment! Because that's what I'm all about here in this safe space :)
4 tips to stop reacting impulsively reactions & stop being triggered
We all know that unpleasant feeling of being triggered...
You might feel you're losing it, you want to scream or maybe you're feeling super emotional and you wish you could turn into a little mouse and run away to hide somewhere... (that used to be me...)
As if it wasn't enough to feel that way, you shame yourself for your impulsive reaction, you wish you could handle things in a better way, you're hard on yourself.
Basically, it makes it hard to function in society sometimes, you get overwhelmed and feel like you need to dissociate to cope.
Let me say it again, it's ok to struggle controlling your impulsive behavior - you are working on self-improvement, you don't have to judge yourself, you just need to know that you can change that pattern from a place of self-love
You already have what it takes within you to do this!
You can start now with these 4 easily actionable tips:
journal about a type of situation that usually triggers you(ex: think of the last time you were triggered, what happened? how did you feel? how did your body react? what took place within you emotionally and mentally?)
Reflect upon the 1st time in your life when you felt this way: close your eyes and just breathe, information will come up and you'll see what wound hides behind this
What did you need at that moment? And what do you need right now? How can you be there for yourself? (ex: you might want to hear that you're safe, you're loved, all will be ok, that it wasn't your fault...) how can you be there for yourself
remember that other people's words or actions have nothing to do with you: --> if someone wants to hurt you, it's their issue, you're not responsible for that,--> if someone says something without any intention to hurt you but you feel hurt, then it means there's a wound that needs to be looked into and healed... and it's ok, it only means you're human - take these 3 previous steps and start again :)
Want to know my (not-so) secret formula for guaranteed self-improvement, expansion, empowerment and self-confidence building?
Instead of "why is this happening again?", ask yourself "what is this teaching me?"
I used to react, now most of the time I respond. It starts with changing habits
If you catch yourself reacting or about to react, here is what you can do:
pause
thank yourself for noticing and having your own back
shift
do the inner work to heal whatever needs attention.
5 steps to heal impulsive reactions by yourself
In this podcast episode, you will hear complementary information to go deeper so that you stay mindful of your reactions and respond to life instead of reacting.
Giving your power away to situations ends here ! :)
As a leader, you have all it takes to become so balanced and at peace with yourself that no matter what others might say, no matter what situations you are in, you won't get triggered.
Even if you'd get slightly triggered, you'd know how to get yourself back into balance very quickly :)
Imagine a life in which you'd be able to silence your mind, overcome self-doubt and step into the self-confident and heart-led version of yourself who trusts herself/himself to make decisions that move your life and your business forward (without second-guessing yourself). I promise you it's possible :)
You were born to create impact and you can increase this impact to the next level by expanding from within!
I actually wrote a book about it back in 2018, you can check it out here:
In this ebook I am explaining how impulsive reactions and triggers work so that you can gain a different perspective, understand yourself, not judge yourself and feel more self-compassion.
We are talking about notions like the law of resonance, ego, inner child, deep wounds and traumas but also how we can heal all of these. I also talk about ancestral healing and how we can impact our family positively by healing ourselves.
My goal is to show you that every part of you is lovable and that you can give yourself permission to love yourself as you are!
October 2018 - Updated in January 2021
If you'd like to have a more personal conversation about this, I am inviting you to book your free clarity call and I will help you implement changes in your life.
I'm looking forward to connecting with you!
3 Things I Wish I Knew about impulsive reactions
If only my teacher had taught me about triggers and how to stop impulsive reactions!
Misconceptions about impulsive reactions
I don't know about you, but when I was a child and a teenager, I used to think that reacting impulsively was mainly about anger outburst or slamming doors violently. Probably because that's what I had witnessed... and I used to judge those reactions as bad and scary (from a child's perspective, this type of impulsivity is obviously scary, that's a fact!)
But as I grew in awareness during my personal growth and self-improvement journey, I had a few realizations that I'l love to share with you:
impulsive reactions and behaviors are actually everything that we can't or don't control in the 1st place: yes, it can be anger management issues, slamming doors, hitting a wall, but it could also be running away from a situation, starting crying without being able to hold back your tears.It can also be freezing, not knowing how to react, not finding words.Or even binge eating, self-punishment... Actually, any form of addiction...
it's as if a switch was turned on, something happens deep within that you can't fathom with your conscious brain
it's a matter of energy and resonance at a cellular level (and I teach about this more in depth during my mentorship programs) so in case you ever felt bad for "not controlling yourself", please know that it's a process and be gentle with yourself.
let go of any judgment towards yourself or others, impulsive reactions are the top of the iceberg, the pain is buried and you can only see the result of the pain (the reaction in question).
it's not your fault, but as a leader, it's your responsibility to change that and I am here to confirm that it is possible!
From Impulsive reactions to finding balance
Controlling impulsive behaviors and reactions seems so easy when you hear about mindset shift techniques... Doesn’t it? But there’s of course more to it…
I remember the first time I learnt about the notion of “ego”, especially in the "spiritual community" back in the days... I even worked with a coach who used to shame and just blame it all on "ego" ("this is your ego" as if it was something bad).
Yes, ego is a defense mechanism (such as Freud had established, his daughter Anna wrote a book about it) so it's obvious that if it's a reaction from the ego to defend the self, obviously a danger or trauma originally created this reaction.
So why would anyone be blamed for these very reactions? You can't know what you haven't learnt yet. But once you know, it is your duty towards yourself to heal and self-improve (because you're a leader and you deserve the best life!)
I thought all I needed to stop being triggered and reacting "uncontrollably" was a few mindset tips to apply... until I realized that everything that has to do with emotional triggers and impulsive reactions needed to be approached differently (and not "just with a few mindset coaching tips”.)
I started to search online for methods to go deeper but I never found what I was looking for.
All of a sudden, it came to me from within, I realized triggers had a deeper origin than “just the ego” and it was possible to deactivate them once for good at a cellular level and finally find balance!
You can check out my Podcast titled "What you need to know about triggers and impulsive reactions here:
So here are 3 things I wish someone had told me about triggers and impulsive reactions back then!
What you feel is valid and there is a reason for it, you are not “crazy” or “mentally unstable” for having triggers and reacting “impulsively” for seemingly “small things”
you can learn to realize when you’re being triggered, which enables you not to react impulsively and not to give any power to external situations anymore
Triggers are an opportunity to resolve unfinished businesses, it’s your subconscious mind catching your attention on something that is unresolved
And here’s a 4th thing, just because…
You can deactivate your triggers once for good and it does NOT have to take long…
Does any one of those in particular resonate with you?
I’d love to hear, feel free to comment and share your thoughts so we can connect!
Much love,
Morgane
PS: lf you'd like to connect in a more personal way, you could also book your free clarity call so I can help you see what your next steps are on your personal development plan.