As a new month is starting, I thought it was the perfect time to address the topic of business goals from a Mindset perspective.
Are you setting new goals?
Or maybe you've stopped setting goals because you haven't reached your past goals and judged yourself for it?
I feel you, I went through that too.
I was spinning my wheels... so at some point I stopped setting goals because it'd hurt less than facing the reality of having another month of "failing" in spite of "doing all the things".
Can you relate? If yes, I got you!
The good news is that you're in the right place, we're going to change that right now!
Keep reading, here's the map:
Mindset shift around goal-setting
When I stopped setting goals, I wasn't really realising it, because I still had the same goals in mind so I'd think "yeah, I know I want to reach xyz", I wasn't writing it down anymore, it felt like I was ashamed of myself for not reaching that level yet because "I should have been further along".
The truth is that even if you're aware you shouldn't compare yourself to others, with everything you see on social media and especially in the coaching industry, it's easy to be influenced. Especially when. self-sabotage is running the show... (which was my case to an extent that was deeper than I had realised, even if I was aware of some of my behaviours and fears...)
Long story short, subconscious patterns are a b*** and we're all blind to what's familiar. It is what it is, that's why it's important to work with someone who has your bck and can help you shift that!
So, how did I shift all of this?
Let me share my epiphany and what changed my perspective on goal-setting and goal-reaching:
1) Realising that my approach was based on an all-or-nothing mentality (based on scarcity of time, "if not now when" and seeing my resources as limited "already doing all the things so what more can I do?") and of course ALL of this was subconscious, influenced by the way I was raised in early childhood.
2) Realising that I was making my goals (or actually what I was perceiving as a failure when I'd not reach the said goals) mean something about my own value as a human being. (ex: I suck at xyz, I'm not doing enough...) In other words, I was making myself wrong for not reaching my goals...
Once again, this originated from my childhood and I hadn't uncovered that yet, let's go deeper.
Understanding your programming and questioning your beliefs
All of this is due to the way you were programmed to see yourself as a child - SUBCONSCIOUSLY obviously...
Reflect upon this:
Were you praised for being a "good girl" or a "good boy" and being punished when you weren't meeting your (controlling / emotionally unavailable) caretakers' expectations?
Were you:
1) encouraged to keep going and look for solutions as a child?
Or
2) shouted at, blamed, shamed and punished when you didn't get the results you were "supposed" to get?
If you said "option 2", then look no further... this is exactly why you don't set goals and you think you've failed.
And it's ok, because now you know. No need to feel ashamed :-)
Now, let me ask you these questions:
What are you making it mean about yourself when you don't reach your goals?
Is that really true?
What do you need: physically, mentally, emotionally? (Maybe you're not feeling safe, maybe you need more resources...)
So, are you ready for a mindset shift?
Choosing a new perspective that will make you move forward
The past is past, right? We can't do anything about it, except learn from it and grow.
What matters the most in goal-setting is:
WHO you are choosing to be on your way to reaching your goals
WHO you are choosing to be when you don't reach them
In other words, are you choosing to see it as a failure and judge yourself?
Or are you choosing to see it as an experience, take a step back analyse what worked, what didn't work and shift your approach as you keep going no matter what?
These ☝ are going to change your perspective when it comes to goals and moving forward in your business (and in life too, as this perspective can be applied in every area).
I know this perspective shift will help you move forward because it has helped me.
Let me know in the comments or in a PM what your new business goals are! I'd love to hear!
A fear words about fears and how to move forward
There's also another factor that can be at play when you're not reaching your goals: the fear of actually reaching your goals...
I know it might sound weird... but keep in mind we're talking about the SUBCONSCIOUS mind here! A programming that influences your actions and behaviours.
Maybe you're afraid of reaching your goals because of a fear of success: not being able to handle more clients, more money, fear of paying more taxes.
Or maybe a fear of reaching your goals because "then what"? You're afraid of having no purpose, nothing to go for once you'll have that thing you're giving so much importance to?
Let me tell you that this is also based on scarcity.
It's inherent in human nature to always have ideas and to create. You will never run out of ideas, you'll never get bored and if you get bored, you'll naturally seek for another quest to pursue. That's how it is!
What really matters is to stay connected to who you are and to your God-given gifts, to focus on the bigger purpose. God will always direct you and use you to do bigger things. Because growth and expansion is part of life, it's a natural principle.
So to summarise, the reason why you're not reaching your goals is either because:
you've stopped setting them,
you're afraid of reaching them,
in any cases, it's because your mind is getting in the way of what you know to be true, due to a whole bunch of factors that happened in the past.
And this can shift easily. I hope and trust this article will have helped you shift a few limiting beliefs and given you a new perspective. If you need support to shift stubborn "blocks", I'm help you with a breakthrough session. Check it out here.
I'm looking forward to connecting with you!
Take care!
Morgane.